I wanted to create this video because I see so many coaches comparing themselves to others and making up stories about why they are not where they want to be yet.
They think maybe I’m too new, maybe I picked the wrong niche, maybe I do not have enough experience, maybe I need more certifications, maybe I’m too young, maybe I’m too old, maybe because I constantly get stuck and doubt myself it means there’s something wrong with me and I can’t ever be successful. Do you relate to any of these? I know that I used to. And I want to tell you right now that none of those things are what separates the coaches who scale to 30k months, 40k months, 50k months, 100k months and beyond and those who do not, right? I have now worked with hundreds of coaches and I can tell you with complete certainty the ones who succeed do not have this one particular niche, they don’t have this specific level of experience, they do not have the perfect credentials or the perfect backgrounds or the same life circumstances. They are also not immune to getting stuck, lost, fearful or questioning everything at times.
So let me tell you what is in common with them because that is what is far more important. There’s plenty of differences but the things that are in common stick out to me and that’s what you should focus on because often actually the people that I see that go the furthest and are the most inspiring are sometimes the people that had the worst starting circumstances. Take Oprah for example. She did not grow up in prime circumstances, have everything handled, handed to her on a silver platter, and didn’t go through any challenges. The complete opposite. But why she is so inspiring to so many today—like her, love her, or not—that’s not what’s relevant. The fact is she’s a global, well-known name and inspires lots of people. It’s because of her story, it’s because of her starting point, it’s because of those circumstances and how she chose to overcome them and show up for them and the story she’s now made about those things. That is why she is so inspiring.
So no matter what your journey has looked like or is like, that can be your power and your passion rather than your pain and the reason why you can’t succeed. So this is what successful coaches and entrepreneurs and business owners have in common from what I’ve seen from experience of coaching hundreds of coaches and also being in the room of many six, seven and eight-figure coaches. They are all incredibly resilient. They keep going even when it’s hard. They face mindset wobbles, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, tough life seasons, and they choose to stay in the room. They do not give up when things feel slow. They do not let hard seasons—which they all have—define them. They keep leaning in.
Number two, they are consistent. They show up more often than not even when they don’t feel like it. They keep taking action on the things that matter most in their business and they do that in their life as well. They do not get trapped in constant cycles of starting and stopping endlessly. Sure, they may have had that behavior or that habit in the beginning of their business, but they rose above it. So if you’ve been trapped in this start and stop cycle, that’s okay. And that’s not going to support you to grow. So you’re going to have to leave that pattern behind if you want to continue to grow. If they do get stuck—which they do—they recommit and start again very quickly rather than now spiraling out of control with guilt and shame for doing so to begin with. They just keep going.
So that’s number two: they’re really consistent. It takes consistency to get amazing results. Just like to get your ideal weight and strength and fitness levels. That’s not about going to the gym once in a blue moon, it’s about going consistently, repeatedly over time. Same with your relationship. In order to turn it into a thriving, healthy, passionate and deep relationship, that requires time and depth and intimacy and intentionality. And the same goes with your business.
Number three is that they leverage support. Sure, many of us invest in support. Many also don’t, but they don’t see the light of day of success. But many invest in it, but few actually leverage it. And I’ve noticed what’s in common with the really successful coaches is they actually leverage it. They don’t try to do it all alone. They don’t invest in a program and then just sit back and think that all their problems are meant to go away because they paid someone. No. They use it. They take full responsibility of the decisions they make and their business, and they lean in on that. So they ask for help. They lean into coaching. They come to the calls. They ask the questions. They use the community. They might not use all of the things all of the time, but they will be leaning into at least one of those elements of support all of the time. They don’t guess their way forwards because they know that that is the slowest possible way you could grow. They allow themselves to feel supported and actually receive.
If you constantly feel guilty for receiving and you don’t allow yourself to receive, it’s going to be really difficult to ask for the sale and hold money and actually grow your business. And when you allow yourself to be received and you ask for support, it actually helps you to move through your blocks much faster.
Number four, I have noticed that they do not make stuck seasons mean something about them. They understand that getting stuck, lost, or hitting an emotional block is just a sign that they are about to uplevel. It’s not a sign that they’re not cut out for this. It is a normal part of building and growing and starting and scaling a business. You are going to feel stuck. You are going to have hard moments. But when the successful coaches feel stuck, they don’t spiral and they don’t quit. They reach out. They do the mindset work. They regulate themselves and they keep going.
And this is a big thing that I noticed even with my own growth. I used to make stuck being wrong and this bad thing. Do you know why? Because it was really uncomfortable and I didn’t like feeling like a failure. And that’s how I felt when I felt stuck again. And then I realized that when I surrendered and I accepted it and I leaned in to the support and to the process and did what was required, all of a sudden with that spaciousness and through that leaning in—there’s this nice balance of the two when you get stuck—I would have the biggest breakthroughs. I would have the biggest realizations. I would have the most alignment. And I would have my biggest uplevel. Some of my biggest months, my biggest ideas, my best creations, my biggest inspiration has come literally on the other side of being in a stuck season. And now I almost get excited when I feel stuck because I know that something big is about to happen. And I’ve noticed this with a lot of the successful coaches: they literally don’t make it a problem. They just address it and they deal with it.
Number five is they take radical self-responsibility. They don’t need constant convincing or constant reminders in order to show up for their business and their goals. Now, there is nothing wrong with accountability and support or needing reminders. I think there’s a time and place where we all need that. And I think that that is super helpful. But if you need it in order to show up—in other words, you will not show up unless someone reminds you to or someone holds your hand or convinces you or tries to make you do it—that’s a problem. Why? Because it’s your business. It’s your life. No one should be more invested in that than you. No one’s coming to save you. People will gently hold your hand and guide you and support you and be there for you and give you the accountability, but you shouldn’t need to be convinced for your dreams—why you should show up for your dreams.
What I’ve noticed with the really successful coaches is they take ownership of their growth. They ask, “What is the right next step I can take?” They’ll lean into that support, but then they just go do it. They don’t need, “Oh, can you remind me to do this? Can you hold me accountable to do this?” It’s okay to want to check in every now and again. Of course, I do that. I need that. And no one needs to convince me why I should show up for my business. I have big goals. I have big dreams. And if I want them to come to life, I have to do the work. And I know that. And because I do that, go figure, I get the result. So self-responsibility is everything. And that’s not always comfortable because it might not be your fault, but it still is your responsibility.
So you want to stay coachable, but you want to take action even when it feels scary rather than waiting, hoping, wishing, or assuming or expecting that someone’s going to do that for you or that things will magically change without you. They won’t.
Number six is they keep the long game in mind. Sure, they want success quickly. I think we all do. And they understand at a deep level that success is not linear. There will be dips, plateaus, and challenges along the way from time to time. They do not expect instant results, and they do not give up after one bad month. They stay committed to building a sustainable business over time.
This is something I noticed with one of my mentors. He recently said that he was starting a YouTube channel and he decided from day one that he’s willing to give an entire year with no results to really learn the game and understand the game. And this is an eight-figure coach I’m talking about. Now, he ended up signing a client on day one within a matter of hours of the first video. Keep in mind there’s decades and decades worth of audience building, business experience, good solid foundation, and he was willing to do it for one year consistently with no results. That’s what he said.
So just because you have the long-term game mindset in place, it doesn’t mean it has to take a long time, but you have to go in with that healthy expectation of, I might not get instant gratification here, and that’s okay because I’m just starting something. So just keep that in mind. I’ve seen that the successful coaches, they stay committed to building a sustainable business and they recognize that it takes time. They don’t expect instant results and they don’t give up after one bad month.
These successful coaches are not immune to getting stuck, lost, or going through hard times. Some of the clients I have coached to 30, 40, 50k months and beyond, I remember like it was yesterday the tough conversations I had with them. I remember when they came to me stuck, spiraling, crying on calls, ready to burn their business down. I remember helping them pick themselves back from a really hard season personally that affected their business, but they got back up and they moved forwards, and that’s why today they’re reaping in the 30, 40, 50k months and beyond.
They went through the hard seasons just like you may be doing now or may have in the past. They’ve doubted themselves many, many times. Some of these people, like I said, had the worst possible mindset when I met them, but they leaned in. They felt the emotions just like you might be feeling right now, and they’ve had moments as well where they felt like giving up, and I’m the same for all of these things as well. But the difference is they didn’t give up. They might have said it, but did they mean it? Different story, right?
They leaned in. They took the next step. They stopped making these feelings mean something about them, and they just used the support, and they got out of their own way, and sometimes it’s as simple as a committed decision. And that is why I believe they are where they are now, and the same gets to be true for you.
So I want to normalize this for you. If you are watching this video and you are feeling stuck, or you have stopped and started a hundred times, or you have sabotaged your success over and over, that does not mean you cannot be successful. That does not mean you are behind. It does not mean you are broken. It means you are a human being. It means you are building a business. It means you are on the exact path that so many of my most successful clients and many other coaches I know have walked. They’ve walked that path, and you can be where they are if you are willing to lean in like they do.
Let me say that again. That is the number one takeaway: you can be where they are if you are willing to lean in like they do. I believe anyone can have the success that I have if they are willing to do what I have been willing to do, and I believe that for anyone that’s miles and miles ahead of me as well. I am willing to have the results that they have if I am willing to show up, invest, and play the game that they are playing.
For example, I heard this amazing podcast episode, it’s also a YouTube video—by Stephen Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast where he interviewed Mr. Beast, who is currently at the time of recording this known as the world’s biggest YouTuber. When I listened to that YouTube video slash podcast, I got full-body goosebumps just telling you this now. It completely changed the way that I saw things, and I learned so much from this experience because I learned from listening to this that he is absolutely the best of the best for a reason.
I didn’t doubt for one second in my mind why he’s the greatest YouTuber. It is so clear if you listen to that episode why he is where he is. Because his work ethic, his going above and beyond, his pain threshold, his risk threshold, his attention to detail is abnormal. It is through the freaking charts. I actually said after listening to that, I could not have the world’s biggest YouTube channel because I would simply not be willing to do what it is that he has done to get there.
I have to own that and be completely okay with that. That’s me being radically honest. So many people are not fully honest with themselves. They say, “Yeah, I could do that. I could be the best.” But if you’re not willing to truly do what the best of the best is doing, then you can’t. And it’s as simple as that. So I could if I was willing to, but I’m not willing to do that.
I’m willing to get to seven, eight figures, sure, but the game he’s playing is another level where his mindset, his mental health, his physical health, his energy, and other areas of his life are severely impacted because of his all-in-ness with his business. And yes, he’s created so much financial success and so much fame and success in terms of YouTube metrics and social media following, but he’s also had a lot of trade-offs and sacrifices to do that.
And that’s also not to say that in order to get certain results, you have to lose certain areas of your life. That’s not true. That’s not the case for me and many others. But at that level, that’s a whole other game. He does not have any competition. He is that high up. And that is because he’s willing to do what majority is not willing to do. And I could hear how it blew Stephen Bartlett’s mind and the breakthroughs he had. And he’s also a very, very successful entrepreneur. And it was just so mind-blowing.
So I just really wanted to share that because you are able to get the results like the people that you look up to if you are willing to do what it is they do. I am not here today because I had perfect qualifications or a perfect background or because I never got stuck. I am here because I kept leaning in and I kept getting back up. I kept showing up. Even when I doubted myself, I kept doing the work. And I still do that. It’s not even a past tense thing. I still do the work even when I don’t feel like it or even when I’m going through a hard day, a hard week, or a hard season.
I am super consistent. I leverage support. I’ve had a coach every single day I’ve been in business—at least one. I follow the process. I trust the process. And I’m in business for the long run. Even when it feels hard, even when it feels slow, I’m all in. I’ve had seasons where I’ve wanted to burn my business to the ground. I’ve said that. I never actually meant it, but I also felt some of the emotions of that.
I’ve had seasons where I felt stuck for weeks and it’s been very, very uncomfortable. And yet I’ve shown up for clients and they wouldn’t even know because I just show up no matter what. I’ve had seasons where I’ve sabotaged my own growth for a long period of time and actually didn’t even realize it for a long time as well because it was subconscious.
If you don’t believe me, watch this video from year one in my business so you know exactly where I was at. So it’s the 26th of August 2020 and I’m currently trying to start my coaching business and it feels like I’ve been trying to start for a year because I have been. I currently have four clients but only one’s properly paying. And I just find it so hard. It’s all I want to do and I just feel like I can’t do it and I feel like it’s so hard and I don’t know what I’m doing.
That’s the story I keep playing in my head, that I just don’t know what I’m doing. The only thing I do know is that I really want to help people. But sales and marketing and business and doing it on my own and figuring it out is so hard. It hurts because I just want to help people and I just don’t know how to. I go through phases of feeling really confident and then really not. I know one day I’ll be able to help people with this. At the moment it just feels so far away though. I just keep trying and I just feel like no results come. I know I need to change my thinking. I need to be a lot more positive and believe that it’s going to work. Very deep down I know it will one day but I just don’t know when or how. I’m just afraid it will be 10 months down the track instead of three months down the track.
It’s so much harder than I thought it would be and because no one teaches you this stuff in school I just feel like I’m figuring it all out on my own and I also think I’m comparing a lot to successful people thinking that they’re so different from me and that I’m missing something and that’s why it’s not working, which I suppose isn’t true. It just all looks like it’s working from the outside but I’m sure they all struggle as well. Yeah, that’s all I have to say.
I am here now because I never gave up and you can do the exact same. So I want you to know if you are feeling stuck, if you are in a hard season, if you are currently doubting yourself, if you have sabotaged yourself 10 times already—you are still fully capable of success in this business. Because it’s not about have you gone through those things or have you not, it’s about how you show up if and when hard and difficult and uncomfortable things happen.
So the question is not have you done it perfectly, the question is are you willing to keep leaning in one step at a time? Because that is what the most successful coaches do.
So here’s what I want you to do next. Decide right now that you will lean in. If you are stuck, ask for support. Post in the group. Come to the next call. Don’t hide. Recommit to consistent action even small steps count and keep moving forward no matter what comes up. You have got this and I promise you, you are much more capable than you think you are.
